The Birthday Party
by PJOHoOHG
Summary: What happens when a billionaire has a small birthday party? Find out!
1. Invitations

**Chapter 1: Invitations**

**Gordon's POV**

I had just finished putting on my GCPD uniform when I walked in the kitchen and found Barbara reading the mail.

"I thought you hated reading the mail." I teased as I sat down at the table.

"Only because all I ever get is bills. This one's not a bill." She smiled.

"What is it?" I asked.

"A birthday invitation." She said.

"Who's birthday?" I wondered.

"Bruce Wayne's." She said as she stuffed the invitation in her bag.

"Bruce Wayne's?" I said curiously.

"You got one too." She handed me another one.

I know Bruce, so I understand why he invited me, but why directly invite Barbara?

"Do you know Bruce?" I asked.

"I work in his research department sometimes. Why?" She answered.

"I didn't think Bruce knew you." I was confused.

"He's a friend." She shrugged. "Besides, he didn't send the invitations, Alfred did."

I noticed that the invitation was in Alfred's handwriting.

"When did you start working in his research department?" I questioned.

"When I was fifteen. So why are you interrogating me? I can tell you are." She responded.

"I was just curious." I said.

"See you later Dad." Barbara wheeled out of the room.

She knows Bruce Wayne?

**Bruce's POV**

"You know I prefer being alone. Especially on my birthday." I said.

"I know Sir, but Dick begged me to have a party. And I only invited people you trust." Alfred sighed.

"Like who?" I questioned.

"Commissioner Gordon, Barbara, Dick, Tim, Miss Kyle, Diana..." Alfred listed.

"Catwoman and Wonder Woman? And wasn't Catwoman recently arrested for robbing a jewelry store?" I asked.

"Miss Kyle escaped, and I know you're... fond of her. And Diana seems to bother you the least out of the rest of the team." Alfred explained.

"Is that everyone?" I sighed.

"Unless your guests invited other people, that should be all." Alfred confirmed.

"Fine, no point in disappointing them at this point. At least you didn't invite all of Gotham." I smirked.

I heard Alfred sigh in relief as I walked down the hall.

**Joker's POV**

"I'm bored. Anyone have a fun suggestion?" I asked.

If the suggestions weren't fun, I'd kill the suggesters. That would be fun. Not as fun as blowing up the Batmobile, but fun.

"Het Puddin', remembuh those bugs we put in billionaire boy's hallway? Sounds like he's havin' a party." Harley said.

"A party? And he didn't invite the most famous man in Gotham?" I referred to myself.

"Sounds like he's not invitin' the rich and famous, just a small group." Harley shrugged.

"Well, we'll just have to crash the party! That sounds fun, right?" I said.

"That sounds great Mistuh J!" Harley squealed.

The goons hesitated, so I aimed a gun in their direction.

"Woohoo! Yeah, let's crash that party!" They agreed in fear.

I shot one of them anyway. "That was just for fun! And because he was late yesterday..."

"Even better, let's take the party hostage and see if Batman shows up!" Harley suggested.

No one upstages me! I slapped her.

"I have an idea! Let's threaten to shoot the partygoers unless Bats shows up!" I said.

"Great idea Puddin'! Couldn't have come up with a bettuh idea myself!" Harley agreed.

"Of course not, because I'm the smart one." I whispered venomously.

The thought of hostages and Bats brought a smile to my face.


	2. The Guests

**Chapter 2: The Guests**

**Bruce's POV**

Alfred said that the guests were supposed to start arriving around 6:00p.m. So I was sitting in my underused living room watching the news. There had been an unusual amount of peace in Gotham today, so the only thing on the news was my birthday. There were actually reporters out on my front lawn reporting live.

"Are you sure he's home today? Maybe he left a couple of days ago for a vacation." Jack Ryder was mumbling in the background of Vicki Vale's live report.

"Oh come on, the most rich and eligible bachelor in Gotham can't be alone on his birthday! Where's Bruce?" Vicki spoke to the viewers. "His guests must be arriving soon!"

"Are we sure he has guests Vicki? He always spend special occasions alone, why is this one any different?" Jack said.

It was five minutes to 6:00. The guests should be arriving soon, so Vicki and Jack won't be too disappointed. The reporters turned to watch as Gordon's patrol car pulled up the drive way.

"I'll greet the Commissioner Sir." Alfred said as he passed behind me.

"Thanks Alfred." I said.

I watched the news as Gordon got out of the car. He walked to the other side to help Barbara. Alfred offered his help to Gordon.

"Commissioner Gordon, what are you doing here?" Vicki asked.

"Can you excuse me while I help my daughter out of the car." Gordon sighed.

"Of course." Jack and Vicki backed up a couple of inches.

Gordon and Alfred helped Barbara into her wheelchair and she wheeled to the ramp I had installed for her. The doorbell rang. I got up and opened the door for Barbara.

"Hi Bruce." She said as she wheeled into the living room.

"Hello Barbara." I touched her shoulder before I sat down.

"Commissioner Gordon! Is your daughter dating Bruce Wayne?" Vicki asked.

"She is a valuable employee and friend." Gordon looked flustered by the question.

"As if our relationship were that simple." Barbara giggled.

"That would actually be more complicated." I smirked.

It would be more complicated to date Barbara than to do my work as Batman with her. Gordon looked strange as he sat on my couch.

"So why did you invite us?" Gordon asked.

"Barbara's a good friend and so are you." I answered.

He was the only officer who didn't treat me like a spoiled brat after my parents died, and he unknowingly helps me fight crime. The reporters turned again as a familiar motorcycle pulled up. I smirked.

**Gordon's POV**

I watched Bruce's TV as Catwoman pulled into his driveway. Carwoman?! Bruce smirked and got up to greet his guest. The reporters started in shock as Bruce and Catwoman walked closer to each other.

"I heard you escaped jail." Bruce said playfully.

"Who told you that? Alfred bailed me out." Catwoman said.

"Dick thought it would be funny if I pulled a prank." Alfred explained.

"Of course he did." Barbara smirked.

"Besides, I was stealing you a gift." Catwoman smirked.

"I've always wanted a stolen watch." Bruce was sarcastic.

"Alfred helped me buy it after he bailed me out." Catwoman handed Bruce a box.

"Thank you." Bruce smiled before he kissed her.

"You heard it here first ladies, Bruce Wayne has been taken by the local thief Selina Kyle, aka Catwoman." Vicki said.

"You heard it here first gentlemen, Catwoman has been taken by bachelor Bruce Wayne." Jack reported.

"Seems as if she _stole_ his heart." I joked.

"Very funny Dad." Barbara rolled her eyes.

Now I'm really confused. Barbara has never mentioned knowing Bruce before today, but I heard them say something about a relationship, and he just kissed Catwoman. This is very confusing.

"Better get inside before the reporters interview you." Bruce muttered.

"Good idea." Catwoman smiled as she walked inside with Bruce.

"Diana, Tim, and Dick should be here soon." Bruce said.

"You invited W- Diana?" Catwoman questioned.

"Alfred invited people. I knew nothing until this morning." Bruce shrugged.

Two boys walked through the door like it was nothing.

"Where did you two come from?" Bruce sounded amused.

"The Bat- back yard." One of them said.

"There was a bat in the back yard." The other clarified.

"Hi Dick." Barbara beamed.

"Hey Babs." Dick smiled.

Only I call her Babs.

"Hello, Earth to Barbara. Someone else is here too." The first one said.

"Hi Tim." Barbara rolled her eyes.

Dick sat down by Barbara and smiled. Tim sat casually by Bruce.

"Any problems?" Bruce asked.

"Not security wise." Dick said.

"Nothing to report Ba- Bruce." Tim seemed to stumble over his words.

A beautiful woman was on the news walking past Vicki and Jack.

"Who's she?" Jack was practically drooling.

"I don't think you'll figure it out by staring at her ass." Vicki snapped him out of it.

The woman walked in and smiled at Bruce.

"Diana." Bruce held out his hand to shake.

She walked past it to hug him. "Hello Bruce."

Catwoman stared at her wearily.

"Hello Selina." Diana sat down.

"Diana." Catwoman greeted.

"Alright, let's get this party started!" Tim said.

"He really is a younger you." Bruce looked at Dick.

Dick smiled. "Taught him everything I know."

"We'll start with gifts." Alfred decided.

**Joker's POV**

Now's not the right time to strike, but soon. One of the goons started looking bored.

"Bored?" I asked.

"Um..." He started.

I shot him. "That's more fun! Someone draw a smile on his face."

A goon got to work as Harley stared at Catwoman.

"Too bad she switched sides, she was a good friend." Harley muttered.

"That's why you have me! And Ivy." I added the last part with less enthusiasm.

"Of course Puddin'!" Harley smiled.

I can't wait to crash this party!


	3. Party Crashers

**Chapter 3: Party Crashers**

**Gordon's POV**

"Here." Diana handed Bruce a gift.

He opened it and pulled out a silver shackle.

"You don't have to wear it, it has a communication system though." Diana clarified.

"Almost looks like yours." Bruce smirked.

Then Alfred handed Bruce a gift. "From your parents Sir. They planned on giving it to you today."

"Thank you Alfred." Bruce didn't open it.

"You already got my gift." Catwoman smiled.

"Here." Tim said.

Bruce opened the gift to find a glass robin. He got him a decorative bird?

"How original." Bruce said sarcastically.

"Maybe you'll like this one better." Dick handed Bruce a gift.

The gift had holes in it. Air holes? Bruce opened it and a bat flew up to the ceiling.

"How about something I don't already have? There are hundreds of bats in the cave." Bruce sighed.

"But this one's meant to be a pet." Dick grinned.

Tim snorted. Barbara rolled her eyes and rested her hand on Dick's leg.

"Here." I said.

Bruce opened the small box. "Thank you for the card and the badge Commissioner. You remembered that I wanted a badge when I was a child."

After his parents died, I was the officer who took him in for questioning, and he said he wanted to be a cop so he could get whoever killed his parents. Of course I remembered. Barbara smiled.

"Here Bruce. Something more original." Barbara handed him something.

Bruce opened the manilla envelope. "Oh good, you found their locations. Thank you Barbara, this is something I actually wanted."

What? Who's locations?

**Bruce's POV**

Thank God, Barbara found some of the villains' locations. Riddler is hiding underneath Arkham, Harvey's going to be at the courthouse tomorrow, and Joker is in his old hideout in the gang neighborhoods. That was the perfect gift.

"Are you sure you didn't just want to see the most famous man in Gotham?" Joker's voice appeared from the kitchen.

I turned to see him standing in the doorway that led to the kitchen.

"Great cake, by the way." Harley spoke with her mouth full. "Nice job butler."

"His name is Alfred." I said.

Joker's goons started piling in through the kitchen door.

"Oh and you invited the Commissioner! Now Bats will show up for sure!" Joker laughed.

Not exactly. I can't risk showing Gordon and the Joker who I really am, and there are camera's everywhere outside. Barbara got a horrified expression and Alfred looked worried. Wonder Woman looked like she was barely restraining herself from fighting.

"You look familiar, do I know you?" Joker looked at Wonder Woman's cleavage.

"I'm sure I would've remembered meeting a pig like you. But we haven't met." She lied.

"Hey Selina." Harley muttered.

"Harley." Selina rolled her eyes.

"Ooh, Catwoman's here. You naughty kitty." Joker smirked.

Dick moved closer to Barbara. Tim barely held himself back from fighting. Gordon shifted uncomfortably and I remained still.

"What do you want Joker?" Gordon asked.

"To be invited to the party, of course! And to see Bats." Joker smiled.

This was going to be a long wait.


	4. Hostage Situation

**Chapter 4: Hostage Situation**

**Gordon's POV**

Why is it always the famous billionaires? Why can't the Joker pick a jewelry store like every other thug? Barbara seemed worried, but unusually calm. Dick pulled her closer and she visibly relaxed. Harley Quinn was teasing Catwoman until Catwoman finally scratched her.

"Ahhh!" Harley shrieked.

"Down kitty. As much as I love a good cat fight, this isn't a good time." Joker teased.

Diana tried the calm approach. "Honestly Harleen, why do you put up with a man who won't defend you when you're injured?"

"He did defend me! He told her to stop." Harley said as she wiped blood off the scratch marks on her cheek.

Bruce pulled Catwoman's hand away before she could strike Harley again. "Not a good time."

"Damn." Catwoman admitted defeat.

"Look, there's an ugly guy in the window!" Tim pointed.

Everyone turned to look. Nothing was there.

"Oh, that's just Joker's reflection." Tim sighed.

Joker hit Tim with one of the guns. "That joke is old."

"Says the dinosaur." Tim muttered.

Joker hit Tim again. "I think I'll go look for something fun to do upstairs. Harley, come with me. The rest of you, stay here."

"Just use the guest room!" Bruce called after them.

"I never even thought of that! Good idea, Harley and I can have fun that way!" Joker said seductively as he pulled Harley upstairs.

"That's disgusting." Barbara said.

"Exactly." Dick kissed her cheek.

"Is there something I should know?" I questioned.

Barbara and Dick turned red.

"This just in, the Joker has taken Bruce Wayne and his guests hostage!" Vicki Vale suddenly reported on the news.

"Make the camera zoom in!" Jack Ryder ordered.

The camera zoomed in and we saw ourselves. One of the Joker's goons closed the curtains.

"Don't want the cops to get a clear shot when they get here." The goon said.

"I wonder if the boss'll mind if we have some fun?" A goon said.

"What kind of fun?" Another goon said.

"I get Catwoman, you get the beauty, and someone else gets the wheelchair." The goon elaborated.

My blood started to boil.

"There are enough of us to keep guns trained on the guys while we get the girls..." A goon concluded.

"HELL NO!" I stood up.

"I ain't afraid of you, cop." The lead goon pointed a gun at me.

"You should be." Dick stood slowly.

"And why's that?" The leader asked.

"Because I'm his daughter." Barbara stated.

"Sit down, punk." The leader pointed a gun at Dick.

Dick slowly sat back down. "I won't let them do anything to you."

Dick kissed Barbara on the lips and she didn't try to stop him. He pulled away before he pulled her in closer.

"On the count of three?" Catwoman asked.

"Agreed." Bruce, Diana, Tim, Dick, and Barbara confirmed.

"What? Huh?" The goons looked confused.

"One, two, THREE!" Catwoman counted.

Catwoman pounced on two of the goons behind her, Dick and Tim lunged at the ones in front of them, Diana had death grips on a couple of goons, and Bruce fought the two behind him. Barbara followed by surprising the goon next to her as she stole his gun and hit him with it. I got the lead goon by punching him. Alfred hid behind Barbara. All the goons were soon unconscious.

"What the hell is going on here?!" I questioned.

"I have some explaining to do later. Everyone follow me!" Bruce ordered.

I willingly followed him with everyone else.


	5. Batman

**Chapter 5: Batman**

**Gordon's POV**

As I followed Bruce, we went into a study and stopped in front of a grandfather clock. Bruce set the time to 10:48 and a passageway suddenly appeared. We continued walking through the passageway until we reached a giant cave. There were bats everywhere. I was very confused.

"I'll check the security footage to see where Joker is." Barbara said as she wheeled over to a large security system.

"I'll help you." Alfred decided as he walked to the computers.

"I brought my suit just in case, so I'll go change." Catwoman said.

Bruce, Dick, and Tim walked over to glass cases that had suits inside. The suits inside reminded me of Batman, Nightwing, and Robin. They each put on a suit. Bruce Wayne was Batman! Dick was Nightwing! And Tim was Robin!

"Let me properly introduce myself. I'm Dick Grayson, I used to be Robin, but now I'm Nightwing and Tim Drake replaced me as Robin. I'm also dating your daughter." Dick reintroduced himself.

"I'm a pretty good replacement." Tim smirked.

"Why did you think Batman and I were never in the same place at the same time?" Bruce asked.

Diana reappeared from somewhere and was dressed as Wonder Woman. Catwoman reappeared in her costume.

"Barbara...?" I wondered about her.

"I used to be Batgirl, but after Joker shot my spine, I became Oracle, Batman's researcher." Barbara explained.

"So I've been working with you all these years and didn't even know it?" I questioned.

"Pretty much. At least I'm not a complete stranger since you know me as Bruce and Batman." Bruce said. "And I only kept it from you as a cautionary procedure. As long as you can keep my secret under any curcumstance, I won't have to erase your memory."

"Erase my memory?" I asked.

"This isn't the first time someone's figured out our secret. When Dick, Tim, and Barbara found out in their own respective situations, I let them remember because they joined my team. When Lois Lane discovered who Superman was the first time, he erased her memory. The second time he let her remember." Bruce explained.

"Maybe we should leave his identity out of this." Diana suggested.

"That's why I didn't use Superman's real name. But you'd think it would be obvious because his disguise isn't that great..." Bruce muttered the last part.

"As long as it works." Catwoman shrugged.

"And you trust Catwoman with your identities?" I was confused.

"She likes Bruce too much to expose his secret, and she swore an oath on the River Styx for everyone else. And Diana takes that Greek stuff very seriously." Barbara elaborated.

"She threatened to kill me." Catwoman shrugged.

"Exactly." Diana smiled. "I'm one of the few heroes who's willing to do it."

"So what do we do now?" I asked.

"You go outside through a secret exit. When you get out front you'll help your cop friends and tell them that the hostages have been taken to a safe location by Batman. And that Batman helped you escape." Bruce directed. "The rest of us will do what we usually do to villains."

"Where's the exit?" I was ready to go.

Bruce walked me to an exit. "And remember to keep our secrets."

"Will do." I said.

I walked out and then walked all the way to the front of Wayne Manor.

"Commissioner, what's going on in their?" Vicki Vale questioned.

"What's happening?" Jack Ryder interrogated.

"How'd you get out Gordon?" Branden asked.

"Batman came to the rescue. He took the other hostages somewhere safe. He, Wonder Woman, Catwoman, Robin, and Nightwing are still inside going after the Joker." I explained.

"Doesn't that seem like overkill to have that many vigilantes?" Branden raised his eyebrow.

"Not with the Joker." I stated.


	6. Heroes

**Chapter 6: Heroes**

**Harley Quinn's POV**

After we were done looting upstairs, we came back downstairs to no hostages and a bunch of unconscious goons.

"Where are all my hostages?!" Mistuh J seemed angry.

"Maybe Bats came while we were upstairs?" I suggested.

"You're smarter than you look Harley." Selina's voice said from behind me.

I turned and saw Catwoman with Bats, his sidekicks, and Wonder Woman.

"Naughty kitty! And are you all here for me?! Oh, how exciting! But where are my other hostages?" Mistuh J asked.

"Safe." Bats stated simply.

"Let's get on with this, shall we?" Wonder Woman suggested.

Bats sprung for Mistuh J as Catwoman pounced on me.

"Uhg! Get off me!" I shouted.

"You should've listened to Ivy when she said to stay away from Joker. If you had, I wouldn't have to attack you." Catwoman said.

"Aw, come on Selina! You know I can't resist my Puddin'!" I whined.

Mistuh J was laughin' at first, but now I couldn't hear anything. I looked over and saw Mistuh J passed out cold while Bats brushed himself off and the sidekicks tied Mistuh J up.

"No!" I squealed.

"Maybe you'll learn from this Harleen. If you'd just avoid him, you wouldn't have to be in these situations." Wonder Woman said.

Wonder Woman and Catwoman tied me up. Then Mistuh J and I were dragged out to a waiting Police Van.

"Wake up Puddin'!" I shouted at Mistuh J.

"Have fun in Arkham Harley!" Catwoman called.

"Screw you Selina!" I yelled.

"You would!" Catwoman smirked.

The sidekicks laughed and Bats twitched a smile. Wonder Woman didn't seem to care.

"Make sure their separated in Arkham." Bats told a cop.

"Good idea." Gordon said.

Then the doors to the Police Van slammed shut and it started driving away to Arkham.

"No! Mistuh J's gonna kill me!" I started to cry.

"Good God, Harley! This is why I told you not to be with the Joker!" A familiar voice said from the driver's seat.

"Red?" I questioned.

"Of course! I'm not letting you go to Arkham because of him. You're coming home with me after I drop him off at Arkham." Poison Ivy looked through a small window leading to the front.

"Who's drivin', Red?" I asked.

"The man who was supposed to drive you to Arkham. I'm using my mind control on him, so after he and the Joker get off at Arkham, I'm taking you home." Ivy said.

"But I don't want to leave my Puddin' in Arkham!" I exclaimed.

"Too bad, because I don't like him, and you don't have a choice." Ivy shrugged.

So we continued driving in the direction of Arkham.

**Gordon's POV**

After the Police Van drove away to Arkham, Branden and the other coos forced the reporters to disperse before leaving themselves.

"So... I'm just going to keep this to myself? Are you going to erase my memory or deny this ever happening if I bring it up to you?" I wondered.

"You can talk to us about it, just don't tell anyone else. And as long as you keep it a secret, I see no point in erasing your memory. Barbara's been dying to tell you anyway." Bruce shrugged.

"I've got to go help Superman with a crisis. Happy Birthday Bruce." Diana said before she took off.

Barbara and Alfred were still in the Batcave. Catwoman walked back inside the Manor.

"I'm going to check the Batcomputer for anything unusual." Tim smirked.

"I'm going to check on Barbara." Dick seemed concerned.

"Hold on, Dick. I'll be sure to keep everyone's secrets, but I need to know more information from now on. And I'd like to talk to you about the fact that you're dating my daughter, Dick." I said.

Bruce smirked as he went back inside Wayne Manor. Dick looked ready to face me. My life just got more interesting thanks to a villain and a birthday party. And now I have to deal with the secret identities of all these heroes. This is going to be a lot of work.


End file.
